September Holidays.

Yes! I'm having my September holiday break now. And I'm here blogging with my iPod. If only I had an iPhone. Oh well, that's beside the point! Completed two nlevels paper this week. Social studies and English. English was super easy. Social studies was total crap. I screwed everything up like seriously. 12 marks gone. Hais. Alright! Gotta buck up for the rest of the subjects! Hopefully I can do better than my silver target!

Watched the smurfs on Thursday with baby and friends. It was like so damn cute and awesome! So in love with smurfs! I smurf you! Hahah. Lets all talk in the smurfy language! Heh.

Awfully sick.

Me and baby so cute hoh. Heh. I miss him like really super badly ): Haven't been seeing him for the past three days! SAD MAX. Tmrw also can't meet. Hopefully I can see him on monday! ): I'm falling sick again. Swollen eyes due to the drugs that weren't suitable for me. BADBADBAD sore throat. I need my baby boy. ): No mood for SS at all and nlevels for SS is like on Tuesday. FML? Yeah. Sucks. )': hopefully I still can get my 2 points for combined humanities!

Yeah, teacher's day celebration just passed! Wrote a si han for wulaoshi! And the above was what I got! <3 hahah.

Alright, gotta start working on my SS already! Will blog when I'm free. :b

Me and You ♥

Me and You, very familiar hoh. HAHAHA. 

Gonna be talking about studies. Yeah, recently, prelims. Its almost over and just left with one more paper. Got back my olevels chinese results yesterday. B3 and Distinction for P3 was what I got. But, I wasn't happy at all. We always get the opposite result and now the actual exam we also got opposite result. How bad can this be. Who wants their best friend to get a bad result. No one. Really, I don't know. Upset to see her crying and crying. Failed at cheering her up. I don't know. I don't want the same scenario to repeat in the year end. I'm afraid. And sometimes I really have the thought of not taking again. Hais. This sucks, alot.

Prelims, everything is going so and so. Hopefully can get 20 and below for ELMAB3 for prelims. Studied quite a lot as well. Fall sick as well. Still recovering. ): 

Happy National Day!

Happy National Day people! Had a blast this year at Marina Barrage with all the awesome people. It was so wonderful! Last year, celebrated at baby's house, this year party! Damn fun. Heh. Love the photo. <3

JUMP SHOT. <3

KISS YOU. <3 *not les ah.

Guess there are more photos that are not uploaded!

5 days of holidays to be spent wisely.

Yeah, things gets more and more different as we grow up you know. I don't know if my baby will be my future husband. But we can plan our future. Its not gonna be easy. Yesterday night, I suddenly went into deep thoughts. Thinking of me and baby's future. Will we last? Things are gonna be so different when we go for further studies. And especially Polytechnic. Yeah, he is older than me by one year old. Means, he will go Polytechnic before me as we are from the same stream. Life in Polytechnic is so much different from life in a Secondary School. Imagine next year I will be mugging for my O and having this thing called SSP almost everyday, how do I juggle between my relationship and studies. I really have no idea. Even now, he is having SSP every single day. I may be able to wait for him everyday now because we are in the same school. How about next time, he wouldn't have the time to wait for me. And this will all cause this thing called "fade feelings" I'm really scared. I love him alot. I won't want to leave him. Neither do I want him to leave me. But as you look far ahead, there is still so much to go. Are we able to make through all these obstacles? I really hope we do. )':

Last week, 300711 was our one year anniversary. I'm glad we made it so far, and this is my first relationship. Its so successful. I definitely hope that he will be my first and last. We went back to old times. Heading to HBF to have McDonalds'. I was so happy to be with him! (: Sadly, we didn't go for cable car. )': I had to rush home early cos it was the start hungry ghost month. ): But, we still had fun together! Special thanks to Huimin and Cass for surprising us with the macarons! <3

{Those bitches that thought that we wouldn't last, we lasted for so long, how about you bitches? Changing your attitude still? Forget it la. Don't bother to.}

This few days, I've been studying a lot. And I hope it will all pay back. I will continue working hard. So far, passed all my tests except for Geog Test. ): Failed by one mark and its careless mistake.

There's another test that I failed was Social Studies SEQ. I don't have anything to regret. I deserve it. I didn't work hard. I didn't study. But I DEFINITELY WANT TO RANT SOMETHING HERE. Damn fucking pissed with this bitch. Don't wanna mention names. I'm just being nice and not coward. Becareful of people around you, they are not always good. Especially some bitches. I didn't wanted to scold vulgarities. But she's way too much and pisses everyone off. I've got a list of things that she have done:

• Sabotaging friendships/relationships [Example: causing unnecessary troubles when it is not needed at all, trying to be nice and bad at the same time.]
• Show off results [Example: LAUGHING SO FUCKING LOUD AT MY MARKS WHEN SHE FAILED TOO. -.-]
• Show off how good she is [Example: she has got GSA Gold and she tried to paiseh those that don't have anything to get (not even silver)]
• Take people's work without permission [Example: bringing people's revision worksheet home and say she forget to return when she know that there's test the following day.]
• Bootlick teachers/seniors [Example: go kaypoh when wasn't needed at all.]

I'm done with my list. You may not believe what I have said. But its all fact. I don't take you as someone that exist anymore.



Je T'aime.

Je T'aime baby. <3 I guess we all understand what it means. Je T'aime means "I Love You" 

Great weekend spent with baby. CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT SATURDAY. :D Heheh. I love my bigfatpig! <3

Had a fun day yesterday. Headed to *SCAPE with the boys and girls. Went to the flea, nothing much there! Catched a movie with baby, Harry Potter! :) But the ending not very nice. :( After the movie, went over to the flea near PS. But, nothing much :( So, decided to go over to Bugis Street for the clothes buffet. The others went there earlier. So I went for the clothes buffet alone. Super shy. :( And, kinda regretted. Nothing much inside. And I forgot to stuff the dress that was damn nice into my carrier. :( 

Studied with usual gang today. Kinda great. :) Studied a lot. :) 

Gonna shower now and continue studying le! :p

So many things yet so little time.

Yeah, isn't it so true? Mugging and mugging everyday. At this hour, I should be slacking. But surprisingly, I AM DOING MY HOMEWORK. Sick of Emaths. Just started Physics. And I am gonna continue after this. Hahah. Gonna finish it by tonight. Can't wait for tmrw's flea at *SCAPE with the girls and our boyfriends! Heh. Which means, I am going out with baby. Can't wait! Every week, I have been waiting for weekend! Hahah. Oh ya, timetable for prelims are out. :( WHICH MEANS, MUG MORE. I must do well!! 

Currently webcaming with babyy. <3

He didn't know that I took the screenshot! HAHAH. Blur pig. <3

So now, he is ready and he is acting cute! :p Shining his phone's torch at himself. HAHAH. Look at how cute he is trying to be ^^ I love you, baby. <3

Oh yeah, talked to some retarded girls today. Keep pulling me! Don't let me run. HAHA. I so shy. :p But, I did feel much better. Heh, thanks. <3

Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

Yes, omg. I miss baby so bad. :( He is PMS-ing with his mum and sister. :( I just can't wait for friday every week. Cos, that's when I can spend more time with my fatfatpig. Heh. <3 I love you, baby.

Yeah, today, went to NP to have the Dialogue In The Dark session. It was pweety fun! :D Everything was pitch dark inside and the walk lasted for an hour. Went to "park/forest, clarke quay, chinatown and the cafe" Why inverted comas? Cos, its not the real place but just some experience. :) Ate in the dark, only can feel with our hands! Kinda awesome. Took a polaroid with our guide after the tour! :) He isn't really blind, but partially blind. From this trip, I learnt to be glad of the eyes we are given, and we should really take good care of our eyes. And, most importantly, we shouldn't show sympathy to the blind. They are just like us, human beings. They have hands and legs, they are able to work! :) 

Now, bitching session. That bitch. Another bitch I am talking about now. I do wonder why our school has got so much bitch. One that has the initial C (not Cass), one that has the initial J, one that has the initial W. Disgusting max. -.- Flirty bitches. Okay, I'll be nice and not say so much.

Oh yeah. I'm so happy with my Chemistry Common Test results! 29/40. First time in my whole secondary school life. WONGHUIMIN, you rock. Hahah. Teach me more Chemistry. :P 

I feel like blogging.

Yes, I feel like blogging right now and I am doing it right now. :) Yeah, still rather down this few days..
Preliminary exams for nlevels are coming, I've gotta buck up and work hard. :) Guess I passed my Chemistry Common Test with good marks although results aren't out yet. Yes, I have shown improvement in my studies. I am more motivated to study hard now. Olevels Listening Compre for Chinese tmrw. Hope I can score like full marks? Hahah.

Monday, emaths test, science ap.
Tuesday, SS ap.
Wednesday, geography ap.
Thursday, emaths ap if we need.
Alternate weeks, physics test.

And baby is having ssp everyday. I hope both of us get good results and can enjoy after the major examinations are over. :D

Today, Fionne asked me not to bitch about that slut. Hellooo. Its not that I wanna say her. ITS THAT SHE IRRITATED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. Say that I'm petty or whatsoever. I can never forget what happened last year right on my birthday night. Imagine someone calls you a bitch just because your boyf decided not to have dinner with them. NO LOGIC RIGHT. So, I am not at fault calling her a slut, bitch whatever. And, it so happened that it was on my birthday night that the conflict started. Yeah yeah, ruin my birthday and whatever yeah? Say that I am mean or whatever, I will never care. She was the mean one to me first, why should I be so nice to her. Bitch. Don't tell me she is changing or what la. I can't be bothered okay. And that bitch that said that me and my boyf is all about puppy love and we will never last. HAH! Bitch, one year is coming. Well, I don't wanna continue le.

Gonna head on with my studies. Not gonna let those bitches spoil my mood. :)

I do bother alot.

Hi. I'm here posting again. Cos I'm really really very upset now. she thinks that I don't bother anymore. How could I not be bothered....... :'( I would rather keep all the feelings to myself than us continuing to be like this. I really do want this to be over. I really don't wanna talk about it anymore. I'm bothered about it alot. I'm stopping myself from letting out my feelings. To be direct, I'm avoiding everything. I'm running away from the facts thats happening. How could I not be bothered. :'( I'm as sad as you are right now. I just don't wanna let it all out. I just want everything to end here! :'( there weren't things that we used to keep from each other. And now, things are so different. The distance between us is getting far apart. I don't know how to face you tmrw. :'(

The "bestfriend" feeling isn't there anymore.

I guess no one will be reading my blog. So I chose to type out my feelings here. This few days, I really do feel that I'm not in the "luck" of friendship. Awesome threesome? They arent awesome anymore. In the past, the three of of us are as close as super glue. Although we always make fun of each other, those were really wonderful times. But this few days, or rather the past one week, I really don't know what's wrong. Everything seems so distant, seems so far for me to reach out. I really start to hate it when we go out in six. The "awesome family"? It's not that I'm sticky with my baby. It's just that whenever we go out, the two girls will be together, the other two boys will be together. And I really do feel awkward. Take that Monday for an example, we went for breakfast together and when we were heading back to school, we ended up all walking separately. Even recess, we werent together. And ever since that day, the whole week we weren't close at all. I still remember, there's this day that Janice asked me where's my bestfriend, I actually told her I don't know. Joke right. Don't even know where's my bestfriend. Subsequently, I still sort of "severe ties" with my sister, Eunice. And then followed by hurting Yuefang by invading her inbox. And it all started from me. I really really really feel terrible. Flag day, same thing happened. I was with Gavin all along. As we were doing flag day, the four of us slowly separated. I hate what I'm feeling now. I really do.. :'( upset and down. Never had I felt so bad before. I just cried when I bum her.. Will everything be back normal and usual like before? Someone bring me out of my nightmare..

I am deeply in love.

Sup people. It has been months since I last posted. Haven't been using my lappy. Its the June holidays now. Oh well. Can't really say its holidays too. Its time for me to catch up for my studies. In a dilemma, don't know if I should continue the Sec 5 path or should I go on to Higher Nitec. Higher Nitec would bring me to Poly as well. But, before I really go in depth about all these, I should work hard for my NLevels first. If I don;t work hard, no point of me talking about all this yeah? 

Next, relationship. Hahah. Had a break up with baby around one month ago? Although we didn't mention that we are together now, but what matters most isn't the status. What matters most is how much we really love each other. Baby's condition is getting more stable than previously. And that's a good thing to know right. Hahah. Hope everything will be better and then we will be back normal. Ten months just passed. Two more months to our one year anniversary. I'm more in love with baby nowadays. Heh. He made me fall in love with him all over again! He is just that awesome. HAHA. But also, very bad at times. But, I love him no matter how much he hurt me or used to hurt me. <3 Baby, I LOVE YOU.

See ya people. Will try to post another time! <3

The urge.

I've the urge to say let's break up.

If we really do break up, all I hope is that you will try to get me back. If you don't, I guess that's just the end of everything. Thank you for everything you did for me. I love you.

Everything changed so much.

好多事情都变了。原本快乐的思慧，快乐又有善心的铭辰。我们两个变了。我以前想个小孩子似的，他以前是个很有善心的小孩，充满爱心，现在他变成一个我不认识的男孩。一个充满暴力的男孩。很多人都会想，为什么我不会想离开他。是，有时候我真的很累了，我想抛开所有的烦恼，我想离开这个世界。可是，想一想后果，如果我离开了他，那他要一个人打完这场仗吗？不可能啊。现在，我能做的就只是陪在他身边，跟他一起度过这一个难关。我已经很尽力了。迟早我想我都会发疯吧。每天，我都会哭，想着庄老师所说的话。她的话，不断地出现在我脑海里。以前，他都不会这样的。他是个很乐于助人的学生。现在，不知如何是好。我真的很想把他变回以前的人格。
宝贝，我真的很希望你能改变自己。我就快垮了。我已经很累，很累，很累了。哭也哭累了，想也想累了。我已经快要发神经了。痛苦的过程就好像是给刀插进心里。插了又拿出来，插了又拿出来。好痛，好痛。怎么办？我也不知道。我真的要一切快点结束。要我辞了现在的课外活动也好，因为我真的，真的受不了这一切了。

I wish things will be fine.

Jobweek Camp 2011 ended yesterday. Great earnings. Broke record. Happy ttm. :)
Met baby after camp. On the way back home, he lost this wallet. Just wish that he will find his wallet back.
SMRT, I'm waiting for your good news.

The same old thing.

Yes, I'm in tears once again. Crying as hard as the other time when I'm in school. Does anyone know how I feel? I doubt there is. I thought you're the only one that knows me best. I guess I was way too wrong. Yeah yeah, you go around posting on the social networks of everything. But, how do I actually feel? Do you know? I doubt you know. When I need you so much, I doubt you could tell. Everytime you post such things, my friends will ask me, and when they ask, I just feel like running off to a corner and start crying again. Its like, I feel like just dying off. I read your twitter, I read your fb, I read your SMSes, I cry even more. I always ask myself this question. Will this relationship last? I believe many people out there must be wondering as well. And when people ask me, I will just say, I'm sure it will. And now, I'm wondering, I might be over-confident. I don't know. Everything is so drifting apart. I tried to stop the tears. But its just too hard. My one and only wish now, I really hope you'll change better. Always remember, actions speaks louder than words. While you change, I'll be by you, supporting you. I don't want you to be like how you are right now. No matter will our relationship lasts, I hope you'll change. That's all I'm asking. I don't mind losing you just for you to be a normal human. And not a crazy one. That's the sacrifice I can make.

Its a new year and things aren't getting well.

Yes, I have not been blogging much.
Can say that I'm really busy nowadays.
Its a new year, 2011.
Even before the start of the new year, everthing was already hell.

This few days that passed had really been a hell ride. And I believe there's more to come. Someone tell me what to do. I really don't know what to do anymore. You have a problem with my cca, fine. I don't blame you for anything. But, just stop doing all the stupid things. Last week you went wild shouting all around. This week, you went round saying you cut our banner when you didn't even do that! Can you stop it please? I know, you may think you will take up all the resposibility. But have you every thought of how I will feel? Its worse than the hell. People complain to me, fine, I ignore. But, PLEASE STOP ALL THE STUPID NONSENSE. Yeah, I know, you have your own principle. Just let things be luh. Human are just that realistic. Whatever they do, reflects on what type of person they are. So as long you do your things, they do their things, nothing is gonna happen. Don't create anymore troubles and that is all I'm asking for. I know you're trying your best now. I know, I know. I can see. But yeah, I'm still upset over today. But I will get over it. I believe I will. Tomorow is orientation already. I pray and hope nothing is gonna happen.

I love you, baby.
Promise to never break all your promises.
Always remember, I will never give up on you.
Even though I maybe crying all the time, but I have never gave up.
So, you have to stay strong with me as well! You are determined to change. I know.